Anxiety wins.

There is nothing I hate more than the fact that I have anxiety. Anxiety over everything. Storms, dark, night time, people, social events, doctors offices, even family events. It takes over me, and it’s exhausting. 

The thing about anxiety is, half the time I am telling myself “this is so dumb, why are you worrying?!” But I’m staying up all hours of the night watching a storm on the radar no where near me. 

Anxiety is hard for other people to understand. To me, it’s like being held under water, but the water is hot because I get really sweaty. My mind is racing, I know I’m being irrational but I can’t bring my head out of the water. 

I want to understand, at some point in my life, why some people have it, and others don’t.. And why mine gets worse the older I get. 

I am so tired of staying up all night, worried about things you see in movies. Not things that happen in real life. 

I am excited to see a doctor about it, but I have to wait until I have this baby. 
Anxiety, you win, 

And also you suck!

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