You can’t make this up.

So, I was raised in the country. I’m not scared of much of anything, rattle snakes, wild animals, bees, whatever, I’m cool with it. Perhaps I have the silliest of all fears though..two fears, huge fears.. I’m talking crying, shaking, haul ass in the other direction until it’s gone fears. 

Birds, and mice. 

I hate them. They terrify me. 

Birds because I saw that movie “the birds” in middle school and ever since I feel like they are going to attack me. It’s been twelve years, still not over it! 

Mice, because the nutcracker, I don’t know why, but that movie freaked me out probably twenty years ago, and I haven’t recovered. 

Let me tell you a little about my issue I have personally had with both! 

Mice: well rats in this case, my mom and I, when very poor after she divorced my sisters dad, lived in a rent house that wasn’t the nicest. We had this cat that would bring HUGE rats to the door, as cats do, as gifts, or whatever. Also if you looked outside you could see them running along the fence line.. 

*shiver*

Mice (again): I dated a guy my sophomore year and junior year in college that lived in the country. I stayed with him nearly every night and I would clean his little shack on occasion, because I lived there, and boys are gross. Well I was cleaning one afternoon while he was at work, and I went to shake off a blanket, a mouse fell out of it, onto my foot, and I screamed. I took off running, jumped in my truck and went home. No shoes. No nothing. We had found mice in the house before, but this one touched me! I got a phone call a few hours later asking if I was okay.. Because he found my shoes, my purse, and my dog, but not me. Needless to say, the mice were gone before I slept there again. 

Birds: when we got married I moved in with my husband, in a wonderful home, in the fall. Little did I know, when spring  comes around, birds roost in the fire place and make awful sounds all through the spring, and have their children in there! Well we came home from vacation one late night and there was a bird in our room! I panicked, and hid until it was outside again! (Thanks hubs)

Birds (again): the next time I wasn’t so lucky. Husband was at work, I was 8 months pregnant and on my lunch break. I sit down on the bed to eat my lunch, and take a quick power nap and I hear flapping and see a bird coming at my face! I hid under the covers and called my husband crying. I hear a thud and the bird had fallen by the mirror. Okay. Heres my chance! So picture this: 8 months pregnant, tennis racket in one hand, basket in the other, going at this poor bird! Well, bird sees me, starts flying, I haul butt out of the house into the yard, screaming and crying. Lunch break is almost over, I have to get this bird out before I go to work, so I have to explain this to my boss as well. So I go back in and try the “towel” trick like you do with cats. Find the bird, throw the towel on him, grab it, and let him free outside. 

Let me add: every time I see birds, grocery store, park, wherever, they are way too comfortable with me. Like I can get too close to them. Why!

So here’s where my story today comes in. 

A few days ago, in our new house, I woke up, grabbed my daughter and headed to eat breakfast in the kitchen. Normal day for us. Well I get to the pantry and I hear flapping. I’m 90% sure I blacked out at that point, until the bird landed on one of my crosses. Great! So I wake my husband up, and he once again, has to get a bird out of the house, while listening to his “tough” wife cry in the other room. 

Now there are birds in our fireplace here. I couldn’t be luckier. 

Tonight..

I am laying I bed, looking at college crap on the computer, or possibly playing candy crush, when I start hearing noises. Joy. Husband isn’t home, and I don’t know what that is. So I slowly sit up, not sure why, and I see it.. A mouse running across my bedroom floor into my bathroom full speed. Husband gets a phone call of crying, cussing, and some jibberish about mice. 

So if you are wondering, this might be the last interesting post I have for a few days. I refuse to step on my floor until the mouse is gone. I’m going to need some roller blades or something because me and mice, mm no!

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. 

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